"I don't know how to meditate."
Yes you do.
I remember vividly, the first time I meditated I was a fresh young tender. I had this grand idea of going to a yoga class for my 22nd birthday. But I signed up for this class the day after a night of celebrating in true early 20s fashion.......DRANKS and TRAP MUSIC:) So the next morning the actual process of getting to the yoga class was a slow process. At that age, I was hyper in the morning but the antics of the night before slowed me down and had a bright idea of taking the time to wash my hair before I left. I was simply making myself later, but when you're hungover, time isn't really a factor for some reason (neither is common sense).
I arrived to the class late, but not too late (everyone had their mats out late but I didn't get locked out late). So I hopped right in with my fresh hangover, got into the yoga flow and was instantly annoyed with the pose "downward dog". I mean that shit was killing me and I was waiting patiently for the meditation portion because it meant the class was almost over and I could just lay there. That moment finally came and my whole soul rejoiced because the instructor turned down the lights, we got to get blankets and lie down on our yoga mats. The moment she became silent, I was knocked out instantly. It was the BEST 10 minutes of sleep in my life. I was in there snoring without a care in the world. That was the first lesson I learned regarding meditation, THE SHIT IS RELAXING! I made the promise to myself that I would go back and see what it's like without a hangover, since I sort of played myself planning yoga classes after fun-filled night of partying. I wasn't ready.
So don't be so hard on yourself, meditation isn't that serious.